I Reject Your Cake with Authority

2 07 2008

I don’t enjoy cake and that’s the scoop. It’s sticky. It’s sweet. It’s loaded with sugary shards of slop, and I’m not into it at all. So, if you choose to offer me a piece, I will kindly say, no thank you.

Naturally, you will insist and ask again… don’t be shy, have some cake… It’s really good! I’m sure you think it is, but I don’t. So, go ahead and ask me again, like you always do.

Try the cake, it’s simply divine! No thank you, I’m all set… More cake for everyone else!!!

Don’t get me wrong, even though I don’t enjoy cake, I’ll be there to celebrate your b-day, say “congrats” or “you’re the fuckin’ best”, but if you ask me a 3rd time, that sickening slice of chocolate cake is goin’ upside ya head with authority.

If you insist, but a fourth time, then not only will I reject your cake with authority – you’re getting dropped kicked across the fuckin’ room, bounced off the wall and into the cake.

No matter what kind of cake your offering, I’m just not interested – even if your little granny foo foo whipped up her award-winning recipe.





Algo and the Funky Rhythms

2 05 2008

Perusing the web has quickly become a symphony of algorithms… if it wasn’t – how would anyone find anything worthwhile?

Back in the day it was easy to create ham with a “sp” batting lead-off. Now, thanks to Algo and the Funky Rhythms it requires something witty… something relevant… something informative… Why? So we don’t have to sift through garbage.

In case you haven’t noticed, there’s a ton of trash out there on the web and you know what? I don’t want to sift through it, but somebody’s got to. That’s where Algo and the Funky Rhythms perform concerts of epic caliber. They filter the junk, categorize, and move it to the bottom of the pile. Whereas the quality stuff is filtered through and placed in a pile where it has a chance to eventually move to the top.

Ever wonder who puts the hawt post where it’s at, or the featured post for each category? Algo and the Funky Rhythms that’s who. That’s their tune, and if keeps me from sifting through garbage… I’ll listen.