If you’re unemployed, get those joy rides in NOW!

10 01 2009

Chances are,  gas will breach the $3 mark by May (and hopefully the $4 dollar mark by June… and perhaps Hail Mary may bring it beyond the $5 mark, come July.) We’re just adjusting to the ever-so-dastardly chain of events that have led us to astronomically low gas prices…

My fellow Unemployees, let’s ponder this…  In the past year, we have faced the most detrimental economic crisis in American history, along with hallelujah-style political reform – all just in time for the holidays.

In other words:
We get to finance a bunch of greedy douchebags until 2055.

We get to thank our lucky stars that G Dubya is Long Gone Silver. (Amazing work! We’re in phenomenal shape!)

And, we got to drive around, smiling cheek to cloud over less than $2 a gallon, as we hit the malls to purchase those thoughtful holiday gifts (our subtle economic stimulus.)

Be on the lookout, though – it won’t be long ‘til the numbers on the gas pump roll more rapidly than a slot machine that never pays out.

So get those joy rides in now, my fellow Unemployees, before the fat cats are puffing their cigars,  slobbering in their sushi,  and getting licky licky’s at the massage parlors with your $3… $4… $5 a gallon.

Hit the coast.

Spin donuts in the snow.

Sit in the parking lot and rev, rev, rev…





It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Broke-ness

19 04 2008

Out here on the Unemployment Front, the funds have dwindled to an all-time low. I’m not about to throw a dollar amount your way, but if I did, it would spook you beyond the realm of all things spooky. Let’s just say that I eat a lot of rice and bargain meats.

Even on a glorious Saturday, the heavy-weighing gauntlet of finding a job is just as prominent as it is during the week. Actually, it’s worse, but in a different way… The broke-ass reality of it all just keeps popping up wherever and whenever it deems fit. It’s far tougher to avoid on the weekends.

Finally, the weekend arrives and there are peeps around, but I haven’t the cash to do much of anything. So I try to promote gatherings such as bbq’s, beach ventures or good ole’ fashioned mindless chillin’… but the almighty dollar rules the roost, and when you haven’t got it, your options are quite limited, but I’m not going to harp on my broke-ity broke-ness. Even here in the thick of it all… in the heart of the Unemployment Front – I shall maintain.